Catatonic – An abnormal condition variously characterised by stupour, stereotypy, mania, and either rigidity or extreme flexibility of the limbs

“They tried to get through to her, but she was catatonic.”

This word makes me sad. It has ‘cat’ in it, and ‘tonic’ in it, and you would think it would be a good thing, therefore. (Unless, of course, it involved GIVING a cat a tonic, which if pills are anything to go by would be a very bad plan – and possibly would be characterised by either rigidity or extreme flexibility of the limbs and mania…)

I want it to be a joyful word, possibly related to the cat therapy which has led to people taking cats into homes for the elderly because stroking a cat leads to lower blood pressure, amongst other things. But unfortunately, people have made the meaning up for it without consulting me. Badly played, world. Badly played.